Have You Ever Been Shot?

“Calm down Grandma. Those kids definitely didn’t walk through your petunias.”

When Telescreen customers don’t pay their bills, Telescreen turns off their service. When customers think TV is too fucking important, they have a shit fit when they can’t watch something worthless like “Dancing With The Stars.” When they can’t watch worthless programming, they call customer service to bitch and complain. When customer service tells them they should pay their fucking bill, they lose their shit and end up talking to Super Department. When customers get to Super Department, they try to give bullshit excuses as to why they didn’t pay their bill in hopes of getting their service turned for free. When I get a bullshit excuse, I laugh and then post about it unbeknownst to the customer on this blog.

Customer: “Man, you gotta get my service back on, I ain’t going nowhere ’til you do.”

Winston: “I’m sorry sir, but the service was shutoff due to nonpayment. I can’t restore services until the $46.77 is collected. I’m happy to take that payment for you over the phone.”

Then there was a long pause followed by a deep sigh.

Customer: “Listen man, I had some stuff happen to me, aight? I got shot. You hear that man, I got shot!”

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