Top ESP Searches: Volume 4

Oh, so that’s how Google does the street view thing. How green of them.

As intelligent as loyal ESP readers are, there are always a few stupid people that slip through the cracks and land on the blog. The dumbasses have to get to ESP somehow, and this is how they’re doing it:

“Im Extermly Stoopid Rigth Now”

That’s for damn sure. Now what’s the goal of that search?

“Stupid Business Casual Hobo”

What? Are you saying business casual is stupid or inquiring how a hobo would dress in a corporate environment?

“Call Center Agents Are Assholes”

Only if they create blogs retelling stories about their interactions with stupid fucking customers.

“Stupid People And Computers”

Yeah, they don’t mix very well. Please see every post on the blog as proof.

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Top ESP Searches: Volume 2

Crazy Uncle Jeff was in charge of watching little Stacy. Good thing he had plenty of toys for her to play with.

It’s that time again! Here’s the second installment of the outrageous search terms that lead people to the blog. This is how ESP’s find a blog about, well, ESP’s. After reading all of these search terms, please ask yourself a quick,”What the fuck?” I mean really, how the Hell do people come up with this shit?

“People At Work Think I’m Stupid”

Well, shit, they’re probably right. I mean, if you have to Google that while you’re at work, then the coworkers have you pretty well figured out. I’m sure this sent you to my similar post, My Wife Thinks I’m Stupid. That guys wife was right, these coworkers are right, but I can’t help but wonder what exactly is the goal of this search? An article on a self-help blog entitled, “How To Deal With Difficult Coworkers?” How about an intelligence test? Let’s figure out a game plan for you, Mr. Genius Coworker. Get off the blog, go grab a dictionary, and read it. The whole fucking thing. When you’re done reading the dictionary, come back and we’ll talk.

“I Have Lunch At Five”

Okay, cool. Good for you. That’s a late lunch, you may want to classify that as dinner and do a new search for “I have dinner at five.” Then you can get in on that Early Bird Special old folks like so much. Maybe that’s the reason for the search? Or you think if you Google your lunch plans it will automatically go to the calendar and then your brain? I assume you were lead to the post, No, I Have Lunch That Day, and felt much the same as that ESP. I really can’t figure out why someone would search for “I have lunch at five,” but hey, there are a lot of things I don’t understand about extremely stupid people.

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