Proper Credentials

“Hey bros, which way is the toga party?”

When a customer calls in, I assume they’re stupid. I know it’s not right to judge, but I’ve done the research. I’ve spoken to thousands upon thousands of extremely stupid dumb assholes, so by now, my assumptions can be treated as facts.

Some of these dipshits simply don’t want to admit they’re stupid. It’s the ones that refute their lack of intelligence the most that end up being, well, the stupidest. Usually they argue and accuse me of implying they’re stupid (which I do) or thinking they’re stupid (which I do).

Yet only one man was brave enough to provide me with the proper credentials to prove his intelligence:

Winston: “Well sir, I’ve looked at your bill and everything seems correct. I’m still showing you owe $75.68.”

Customer: “Let me ask you a question. Do you understand who you’re talking to right now?”

Winston: “Excuse me?”

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