Ask Jeeves

If you can’t afford a real servant…

Stupid People Say The Dumbest Fucking Things:

Winston: “If you want to upgrade your package to get all of the movie channels, we can add on the premium service for you.”

Customer: “And how much will that cost?”

Winston: “All of them together will be $44 more a month.”

Customer: “And how about just the two we were discussing previously?”

Winston: “Then it would only be $20 a month.”

Then came an awkward pause followed by a big sigh.

Customer: “Oh, I do not know what to do.”

Winston: “You can always make these changes online.”

I always try to dissuade people from calling in. Saving the world, one ESP at a time.

Customer: “No, I do not want to do that. I will think about it. I will have my servant call you back to discuss these menu items at a later time.”

Read More »