The Telescreen Olympics

“You call yourselves soldiers? Drop down and give me 20…crab walks.”
Since Telescreen is a piece of shit, they really don’t do much for their disgruntled employees. However, from time to time, they half-ass some bullshit sort of event. The most recent one was called The Telescreen Olympics.

Maybe it was inspired by the summer games this year, or the event planner just smoked too much pot. However it was contrived, nothing could change the fact that The Telescreen Olympics were really fucking lame, as expected.

I got a few emails warning me about the big event, which was set to take place for a few hours in the afternoon. Being bombarded by dumb rednecks and angry assholes meant I couldn’t read the details of the event plans. Actually, if I in fact did have enough time, I still wouldn’t have cared enough to read the details.

The day arrived and I took my lunch break at the height of the event. Normal companies have a big event where, you know, everyone is invited. Not Telescreen. The employees have to work their normal hours, and if they happen to have a break in the event timeframe, they can attend. By break I mean a short 15 minute break that can’t go over by a few seconds. How employees were supposed to actually enjoy the event? From what I could tell though, there wasn’t much to enjoy.

I moseyed over to the extravagant event which consisted of: A table. Normal companies have music, an open bar, food, and other awesome fare. The Telescreen Olympics were a couple of dumb management fuckers sitting at a table running a little tournament. What sort of games can you have in a call center from a planning committee with no budget? Here were the three events I saw:

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