Snakes, Scales, & The Devil

Well, they have pizza for lunch, so it must be safe…

Sometimes I get a call from someone, and all I can think is that the person must be a raging psycho. Like the fucking movie Psycho. Really. How thankful I am that people can’t murder me over the phone line. That is what I thought when I encountered a man we’ll call Norman Bates (the main character from Psycho, movie knowledge drop).

Winston: “Thanks for calling Telescreen, this is Winston, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Winston? Yeah, I was trying to get a hold of Jenny. Can you transfer me over to her?”

Winston: “Unfortunately it doesn’t look like she’s in today, but I can give you her direct extension if you’re ready for the number.”

Customer: “No that’s okay, can you just leave a message for her?”

Winston: “Not a problem, I’ll get an email right over to her.”

Customer: “Great. Could you please ask her why she’s so fucking stupid?”

I shit you not, verbatim, this fucking happened. A normal person would have been speechless, but to me, this was just another day. Little did I know what else lay ahead.

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