The Deaf Conversation

Quietest. Service. EVER.

Most of the time ESP’s get pissed off at me simply because they’re fucking stupid. Yet sometimes they get pissed off at me because they’re deaf.

Customer: “Hello? Who is this? Hello?”

Winston: “Yes, this is Winston, how may I help you?”

Customer: “What? Jesus, speak up!”

So I figured, might as well start yelling. I get yelled at all day, why not give it a shot?

Winston: “Yes, this is Winston! How may I help you?”

Customer: “What? Seriously speak up!”

This continued for awhile. I’d yell, then she’d get mad and yell back. Note, that had never happened before. I don’t yell at people. Only ESP’s yell at strangers on the phone. Fact.

Customer: “Okay, this is ridiculous! Let me give you a call back, there must be something wrong with your phone. What’s your number?”

Sidenote: It’s always my phone that’s the issue. You know, the phone that’s hooked up to the landline at a large business and not the shitty cellphone in the middle of the fucking country.

Winston: “5-6-0…”

Customer: “506?”

Winston: “5! 6! 0!”

Customer: “506 you said?”

This again continued for awhile until she started yelling and cursing at me. She proceeded to hand the phone to someone else saying, “I can’t hear this Goddamn guy, good luck.”

Customer: “Hello?”

Winston: “Hi, this is Winston with Telescreen, can you hear me?”

At this point I was still yelling and apparently startled the new person.

Customer: “Whoa, yes, I can hear you just fine, thank you.”

Then I hear in the background, “You see what I mean, fucking guy doesn’t speak up.”

Customer: “I’m very sorry, my aunt is, um, a little deaf.”

A little? I then finished up all the business with the person that could, you know, fucking hear me. I’m sure being deaf sucks, don’t get me wrong, but you shouldn’t get pissed off at other people because you can’t hear them. Classic ESP move right there.