I Ain’t Got No Address

Now that’s a “rural” mailbox.

Telescreen has a term for Rednecks. They’re called, “Rural Customers.” That’s a nice politically correct term, but also turns out to be rather accurate.

Winston: “Alright sir, I’ve got your new receiver box ready to be shipped, but I can’t verify your service address. What is your address?”

Customer: “Well I ain’t got one, I just live right out here past the highway in the great state of Oklahoma.”

Winston: “So, you don’t have an address?”

Customer: “No, I ain’t got no address.”

Winston: “How did service get setup there in the first place then?”

Customer: “Ah shoot, I dunno. Some local fella came out and got it going for me.”

Winston: “Do you get mail there?”

Customer: “Hell no, nearest person’s a good ten miles away. I ain’t even get no darn phone out here. That’s why I got to be way outside on my flip phone talkin’ to ya.”

Winston: “Well, I’m going to need some sort of address to get this new receiver out to you. What should I put as your address?”

Customer: “Hell, just do Oklahoma highway.”

Winston: “You mean, just put ‘Oklahoma Highway’ and leave the rest blank?”

Customer: “Well why not? I mean, I’m out here, you know, in Oklahoma, off the highway and all.”

And then his “flip phone” cut out and the call was done with. I’m not sure if anyone ever could get a receiver out to him, but for the record, it’s probably good to know your address. Generally USPS doesn’t quite know how to pinpoint you with a state name plus “highway”.

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