The ESP Name Game

Related to Mr. Pee Pee Pants.

Even though ESP’s are so fucking dumb and almost always wrong, they’re just so damn sure of themselves.

Customer: “I was just talking to Amanda and we got disconnected. I need you to transfer me right away.”

Winston: “I’m sorry, but no Amanda works in our office.”

Customer: “I know who I talked to. I was just on the phone with her, now connect me back!”

Winston: “I can definitely check our employee list, but I’m almost positive no one of that name works here.”

Sure enough, after a little check, no Amanda existed among the poor assholes working in Super Department.

Winston: “Are you sure it was this department? Could it be another name?”

Again, ESP’s are never wrong. Yet always wrong.

Customer: “Damnit, connect me right now, I’m tired of waiting around! Just go over to her desk, it’s not that hard!”

Actually it is quite hard because I can’t go to a fucking desk that doesn’t exist and I can’t talk to a fucking person that doesn’t exist.

Customer: “You moron!” Click

I checked on his account a few days later, and sure enough he called back and yelled at someone else. Apparently the agent he wanted was named Dana. That’s D-A-N-A shit head.

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2 thoughts on “The ESP Name Game

  1. I used to be a bill collector for about 16 years in several different call centers in CA. There was one colleage that I will always remember. Her name was GeeGee from Chiago. She had the best one line comebacks. Like excuse me Mr. Smith could you please hold for Mr. Click and of course she would hang up. Or after listening to the story of a lifetime “wife died, dog died, house burned down, I’m in the witness protection program, etc.” She would say with a little sniffle could you hang on Mr. Jones I gotta grab a box of tissues.

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