Tell Him To Go To Hell

Yelling into the phone is just as bad as stealing a payphone.

Talking to one ESP is bad enough. If you throw another ESP into the mix, you’ve got a fucking problem. As was the case when I was talking to some dumbass about sending a tech out to his house. The only caveat was that his wife was in the fucking background telling him what to say. Apparently he couldn’t think for himself. Or maybe his wife didn’t allow him to think.

Winston: “I’m happy to get someone out there to look at the issue, but I’m not able to waive the fee.”

Yelling Wife: “Ask him how much it’s gonna cost!”

Customer: “Yeah, how much is this gonna cost?”

Winston: “It will cost 50 dollars to send a technician out to your home.”

Customer: “He said fifty bucks.”

Yelling Wife: “Tell him to go to Hell!”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s not gonna work mister.”

Apparently he wasn’t very good at translating. He was supposed to tell me to go to Hell.

Yelling Wife: “Damnit, give me the phone! I want to give this son-of-a-bitch a piece of my mind.”

Well I guess we know who wears the pants in that household. Obviously she made him call Telescreen, but didn’t think he was doing a good enough job, so she took over. Lucky me.

Yelling Wife: “Now you listen to me you lying little cheat…”

And off she went on a tirade. As I was ignoring her, I wondered how much her husband ignored her too.

Customer: “Now hold on honey, calm down.”

Yelling Wife: “Shut up Charles, I’ll tell him what to do.”

And tell me what to do she did. After lots of threats, screams, and cursing, she made herself so mad that she had to hand the phone back over to her husband. Up until this point I had only spoken a few times and hadn’t been able to say one word while she had the phone.

Customer: “Well, I’d thank you for your help, but you really haven’t helped us any, so you don’t get a thank you.” Click

It was a pretty lame “fuck you” line, but at least he came up with it all by himself.