Sleeping On The Job

Would this be considered reckless driving?

In order to succeed at a job and make it a career, and employee needs a desire to advance. They need to believe in the company and their position therein. The employee must understand that with some effort, they can not only benefit the company, but also themselves.

Having said that, I could (obviously) give a flying fuck about Telescreen. That’s why I sleep on the job.

Actually, it’s been awhile since I had a little nap in the cubicle. On the morning shift in Super Department, calls are one after the other for nine frantic hours straight. When I was on the late night Tech Department shift however, I had the opportunity to doze off from time to time, and even once, passed the fuck out.

Allow me to explain. When a customer gets a new receiver, if they can’t figure out how to set it up, they call us and we have to walk them through the process. It’s decidedly simple, very rarely deviating from the tried and true step-by-step process. But it sure does take a long time. We’re talking about Telescreen equipment here, so the stuff is pure monkey shit.

The agents are supposed to lead the customer only to a certain point and then end the call because they have to be available to answer more and more calls (the sweatshop mentality remember). Yet I know that if we stay on the line waiting for everything to download it will make our lives a lot better. I know customers appreciate having someone make sure everything works. I know that everything will usually work without any issues. I know that our Q and A team (Big Brother) stops listening to calls after 30 minutes. I know the call will last more than 30 minutes. I know I don’t have to follow any bullshit guidelines. I know I can chill the fuck out for a few moments in the otherwise crazy call center.

Sometimes I’d doze off in space and pretend I was somewhere else. If I could get away with using my phone, I’d look for jobs or play some Words with Friends. I’d enjoy some ESPN on the wealth of TVs around us. In short, I wasn’t getting screamed at by ESP’s, so that 30 minutes was pure bliss.

One night, after a particularly hectic shift, it was getting late and I was helping a customer add a receiver right before I clocked off. We were at the portion of the process where we were waiting for the piece of shit receiver to download all the pointless show info. It was taking awhile and I noticed my eyes starting to get a little heavy. I leaned back in my chair and noticed how oddly comfortable it was. The florescent lights didn’t seem quite as bright for a moment. It was so late at night and I was really ready to go home and get to bed…

Customer: “It’s now on step 3 of 6.”

I woke up startled and confused. Where was I? I looked at my watch. It was 11:11. I’d been passed out cold for a good 5-10 minutes. Somehow no one noticed including my supervisor or even the customer on the phone. I wasn’t at home comfortable in my bed, but was in a dungeon talking to stupid people. Talk about one Hell of a nightmare. Wait, it was reality.