You’re Not In My Will

No stamp collection is complete without the “Bread Forever.”

A call came my way with a woman disputing a 300 dollar charge. After searching high and low, I told her I didn’t see the charge in our system. Maybe it was from competitor Telethon and not Telescreen. Maybe her eyesight was going. Maybe she just couldn’t fucking read. Either way, she was being a pain in the ass.

Winston: “Again, I’m sorry ma’am, but I don’t see the charge in our system. The only thing that will help us track down whether or not this was in fact a charge from Telescreen would be if you could send in the bank statement you have in front of you showing the 300 dollar charge.”

This made her mad because she was old, she was dumb, she was lazy, and apparently she was fucking Amish since she “didn’t have a computer.”

Winston: “I wish there was more I could do, but there’s no charge that I can reverse.”

This made her even more mad, but she kept pressing. I told her no again. She got really mad, but kept at me. I told her no again and then she pulled the pity card.

Customer: “I have cancer! I’m going to die! You’re killing me right now!”

I highly doubted I was in fact killing her, whether she had cancer or not.

Winston: “I’m very sorry, but there really is nothing I can do.”

I couldn’t fucking refund money that didn’t exist and without any effort on her part to send in one little piece of paper, we were at a standstill.

Customer: “Well then, I can tell you one thing buddy, you’re not in my will, so think about that.” Click.

Damn, maybe I should track down some money to refund after all. I was really hoping she’d will her stamp collection to me, the random call center worker.

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