The WTF Collection

“What the fuck is the problem with your sink?”

Sometimes I just have to ask, “What the fuck?”

Customer: “Telescreen is way worse than anything else I’ve ever had. They’re just the worst! Worster! Worsterest! You hear me? Worsterest!”

Well, your grammar is shit, shitty, shittiest.

Customer: “It’s not my responsibility to understand what the agent is saying to me!”

So…who should be listening to the conversation then? I’ll just assume you have an assistant following you at all times.

Customer: “Let me tell you man, don’t have kids, there’s no damn refund.”

I was just wondering as your kids were screaming in the background if you could actually return them once they turn into little assholes. Apparently you can not.

Customer: “I told you these kids messed up my cable line. Don’t ever move into a neighborhood with kids, they are motherfuckers!”

Well, I suppose you may be right that some kids are pieces of shit, but finding a neighborhood kid-free will land you in an old folk’s home.

Customer: “Do you know how many sunabitches I had to talk to overseas before I got you? Tell Big Brother it’s disrespectful to send me to India or the Philippines! They’re stealing our goddamn jobs! Be careful buddy, your job will be next!”

And then I told him I was in fact an Indian agent talking to him from Dubai, but that I had perfected my American accent.

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