PHD: Pathetically Hopeless Dumbass

She’s guilty.

One of my pet peeves in life is people with egos. Now this is a pet peeve in real life, beyond the confines of Hell on Earth (aka the Telescreen call center). Now these egotistical people like to flaunt their “status” in order to feel better about themselves. They need to put other people down to prove they’re “better” than them. This of course includes call center employees. Sure they may be more successful, make more money, and definitely have a better job than me, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t fucking stupid.

Winston: “Sir, I’m looking right here at your bill. All of the charges have been added up correctly. I even double checked with a calculator while I had you on hold, and everything adds up to $113.”

Customer: “No, you’re wrong. Your system is wrong. Hell, your calculator is wrong.”

Winston: “I can go through each charge again if you want, feel free to add them with me.”

I figured I’d teach him how to use a calculator and avoid this issue in the future.

Customer: “No, I don’t need you to teach me how to add, pal. Do you know who I am?”

Oh shit, not this spiel again.

Customer: “Huh? Do you know who I am? Let me tell you something, I am a professor.”


Customer: “Alright? I work at BP, did you know that?”

Allow me to repeat myself: I…don’t…care.

Customer: “I have a PHD in civil engineering, how about that?”

No really, I don’t give a shit!

Customer: “I worked as a civil engineer for 15 damn years.”

Okay, stop it! I don’t give a flying fuck!

Winston: “Okay, so um, how do you want to make your payment today?”

What the fuck else was I supposed to say? Congratulations?  He then of course got even more pissy, said he was going to cancel his account, and hung up.

So I guess all and all, I learned something. Getting a PHD in Civil Engineering doesn’t require elementary math knowledge. If you’re considering grad school, civil engineering seems like a cakewalk.