Telescreen Goes To Lunch

Even Beetlejuice needs a lunch break.

Stupid People Say The Dumbest Fucking Things:

Winston: “When did you try to cancel before?”

Customer: “Well I tried a few days ago.”

Winston: “That’s odd, I don’t see any notes on the account. Did you talk to an agent?”

Customer: “No, I ain’t talk to no one.”

Winston: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “Ain’t no one answer the phone.”

Winston” “What?”

Customer: “I tried to call and cancel, but I couldn’t get a hold of anyone. Ain’t no one answer that damn phone of yours.”

Winston: “Um, I’m not sure that’s possible.”

Customer: “Sho ’nuff was, ain’t no one over there when I called.”

Winston: “Did you call 1-800 TEL-SCRN?”

Customer: “Oh yeah, that’s the one, but y’all must have been at lunch or sum’ like that.”

Tens of thousands of employees working at Telescreen, thousands in the multiple call centers across the globe, and would you believe it, everyone was on a lunch break at the exact same time. What are the odds?

8 thoughts on “Telescreen Goes To Lunch

  1. Haha, this story brightened up my day! Sounds like more of a redneck problem than a phone problem!

  2. It’s kind of a shame that rednecks have evolved sufficiently to be able to use a phone. I liked it better when they just wandered aimlessly through the countryside, shrieking profanities at the sky and drooling. Ah yes, those were the days…

    • Oh, if only it were that easy. One of the big clients at my old phone center jobs was American Electric Power, and we were required to be extra-careful with the free-range Soylent Green that would defecate into our phone lines all day from AEP. Among other things, we discovered that AEP was particularly successful in areas that still didn’t have phone lines that could handle touch-tone receivers. Yeah, it’s not enough that they couldn’t use cell phones in some of these pockets of humanity: they were still using, at least as late as 2006, rotary phones. (These were the ones who’d also threaten to drive all the way out to our call center to “kick some ass” if we didn’t do everything they said. I wasn’t worried: I figured that sometime in the 400 miles they’d have to travel before they came across a paved road, they’d find a dead possum or skunk in the middle of the road, stop for dinner, and forget all about it.)

      • Wow, rotary phones? That’s frightening unto itself.

        I always wonder why the “kick some ass” threats never come to fruition, and roadkill could be a big deterrent on the path to the call-center.

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