The Redneck Bilinguals

It’s important to be bilingual in Jive too.

I think it’s been pretty firmly established by now that Rednecks encompass a large portion of the Telescreen customer base. Hey, they cater to the “rural individuals,” and the agents get to reap the, um, rewards.

The customers aren’t the only “rural individuals” we get to deal with in Super Department. A few of the call centers are down in Texas and South Carolina. We talk to a ton of agents hailing from The South or Texas (since Texas is kind of a country unto itself). Because they’re usually pretty tolerable, I like to leave my fellow agents alone on the blog. They’re suffering just like me and don’t usually deserve to be ridiculed. Sure I have a whole category called “Perplexed Employees,” but for the most part, agents are a far cry from most of the raging lunatics we talk to. So I go by the mantra to just let a Redneck be. Kind of like when you see a rattlesnake in the woods. It won’t bite you as long as you leave it the fuck alone. So when I drive past a trailer park, I let the residents be, instead of pulling in and yelling, “Ronald Reagan is a piece of shit!”

Yet some of the antics from these “rural” agents can’t be overlooked, especially their pronunciation of Spanish street names. Mexico is right the fuck under Texas, you would think they could figure this shit out. Alas, here are their sad attempts at speaking a little Espanol.

Street Name: Calle Nueve (Ninth Street)

Agent Pronunciation: “Cal-Ee New Eve” (New Year’s Eve in California)

Street Name: El Cajon (The Drawer)

Agent Pronunciation: “Ill Cajun? No, Ill Ca-John” (A sick Cajun person / John is sick)

Street Name: Calle Sol Se Mete (Street Sun Deal? I don’t fucking know)

Agent Pronunciation: “Cal-Ee Saul Say Meat” (Saul from California is eating meat)

Street Name: San Juan (Saint John)

Agent Pronunciation: “San Jew-On? Um, San June? San Jwen?” (Something about a Jewish holiday in June)

3 thoughts on “The Redneck Bilinguals

  1. I could never figure that out since I moved to Texas. Especially now, after living 5 miles from the border for 2 years and being the only white guy I knew. When I moved back to Central Texas I realized how bad it really is. Everyone I work with and most people I meet have the most godawful accents I’ve ever heard. And I’m from New England!

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