ESP Turns Two

And another fun filled day at the DMV began.

Can you believe it, gentle reader? The wild and crazy world of Extremely Stupid People turns two years old as of today!

I know, I’m excited too. Not excited that I’m still working in the Hell on Earth known as Telescreen Inc, but excited that the blog is still rolling and capturing stupidity after all these years (um…two).

Last year at this time, I contemplated the viability of keeping the blog going. Low readership, a large time commitment, and basically having to relive my life at the call center even when I wasn’t there made me consider shutting ESP down. But I quit being a crying bitch and continued on. Since then, the blog was featured on the WordPress Freshly Pressed page and we gained lots of new intelligent followers. Readership isn’t crazy high or anything, but at least we have a solid crew of people that can join in on making fun of fucking idiots. I also made a new friend, Charlie Blue Dot, that will be collaborating and joining the fun here at ESP. Nothing else of note really happened throughout the year other than that. Just lots of posts about stupid people.

I came to realize over the last year that this blog will need to continue on, whether I have one reader or one million. Whether you read this blog once a month or dutifully each time a new post plops into your inbox, I think ESP can bring some good to the world, even if I do say “fuck” and “shit” a lot. Fuck. Shit. I know it’s made me feel better about having to get screamed at by angry asshole redneck pieces of shit all day. If your job is decidedly shitty, maybe these ESP stories can make your day a little brighter. Maybe you don’t have a job and are tired of watching infomercials. Maybe you just enjoy pointing and laughing at dumb people. I know I do.

The year hasn’t been without hiccups though. I have begun to sense that after two years, ESP has gotten a little stale. I mean, how many times can  you recite a conversation with a Redneck and still laugh about it? Well, I still do, but I’m not sure that everyone else does. I realized that something must be done to freshen up the place, and I’m not talking about using 409. (Product placement, waiting for my check from whoever makes 409).

The answer, oh gentle listener, is the audio world! I have been translating all of these phone conversations to the written word, but frankly, some just need to be kept in their original form. I think I said I was going to do this a year ago, and I’ll be damned, I’m finally getting to it now, better late than never I guess. It’ll kind of be like a radio show about stupid people, which sounds pretty awesome. I even have a little theme song to go along, so you know I mean business. I have a feeling you all will enjoy it, especially those of you that don’t like to read.

The next post will have an audio link at the bottom allowing you to listen to yours truly recite the ESP story. I will continue to categorize the stories based on their, you know, category, but will add an “ESP Radio” category as well, which you can access on the right of your screen (which is this way, FYI —–>).

I’m sure I’ll figure out how to post these on iTunes Podcasts eventually, but let’s not move too fast. It took me a fucking year to get audio on the blog, so I’ll have to take it one step at a time.

So as we forge ahead into the unknown, remember to share the stupidity. Tell your pals that complain about their jobs about ESP, and maybe help preserve their sanity. Send in your call center stories if you’re unfortunate enough to have a shitty job like me. Send over links, videos, pictures, and stories of stupid people being, um, fucking stupid, so we can all make fun of them.

As I say goodbye for the day, do you really think I’d just ramble and not leave you with some stupidity? How dare you!

More idiotic ESP search terms:

“U r stupid 4 posting this picture” – Um, you don’t know seem to know how to form real words.

“Call center customers are stupid” – Why yes, yes they are.

“Walmart stupid people” – You should just avoid Walmart at all costs for safety reasons.

“Mississippi stupidity” – Isn’t that their state motto?

And finally, a look back at some notable posts:

The First Post:

Call Me Winston

The First Anniversary:

Happy Birthday ESP!

The Freshly Pressed Post:

Top ESP Searches: Volume 1

Charlie Blue Dot:

I’m Gon Kill That Sum Bitch