Dick Cox: Pimp Extraordinaire

Anyone named Dick Cox is going to be trouble. My guess is that he spent most of his childhood getting teased for his ridiculous name. Once he got a bit older, he decided to turn the tables and live up to his name.

Dick’s account showed up on my screen and I immediately burst out laughing. How can you keep a straight face when you encounter someone named Dick Cox, Harry Baals, or Mike Hawk? I gathered myself enough to listen to the woman on the line requesting a service change of sorts. The problem was, I couldn’t understand a fucking thing she was saying because of the commotion in the background. I could make out about five different voices in the background and it sounded like one hell of a party. I couldn’t really decipher what was going on, I just heard lots of women laughing and yelling. I came to a firm conclusion: Dick Cox must be a pimp.

I told Ho #1 to put Dick on the line to confirm the changes on the account. I refer to her as Ho #1 because that’s how I assume Dick refers to her. Dick comes on the line, laughing to one of his hoes, and tells me about the service change he wants.

Customer: “Winston? You hear this party I’ve got going on over here? Sexy babes are everywhere! Can you believe that?”

Winston: “Um, so, with the changes we made on the account today…”

Customer: “Hell, we’ve got so many babes, I can’t use them all. You like girls Winston? Why don’t you come over here.”

Winston: “Sir, I’m not sure this conversation is…”

Customer: “Don’t tell me you don’t like girls Winston! Get your ass over here and have a little fun!”

Winston: “Um…”

I heard even more yelling and laughing. I guess Dick’s hoes make house calls.

Customer: “Holy shit! Three more babes are here! I’ve got some work to do, here, talk to one of them.”

Winston: “Hello?”

Customer: “Hey there. This Ho #2. Are you a friend of Dick’s?”

Winston: “Um, no. This is Winston from Telescreen. Could you just please tell him that I made the service change please.”

Customer: “Oh. I sure will baby. Ta-ta.”

STD’s can’t travel through phone lines right? That place was so dirty I wanted to go to the doctor after work and get checked out for the herps. I hope Dick doesn’t charge me for talking to his hoes; you definitely don’t want to be in debt with a pimp, especially a pimp named Dick.

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