Customer: “Are you American?”
How many fucking times am I going to be asked that? Generally it’s from assholes who think camo is awesome and that dipshit Tim Tebow is a god.
Winston: “Yes I am American, how may I help you today?”
Customer: “I am tired of this terrible lack of service! I have been sent to India three times and they haven’t been any help!”
Cut them some fucking slack. It’s not their fault they’re getting paid three rupees a day to talk to idiots.
Customer: “Well I couldn’t understand them and they weren’t willing to help me at all!”
Why are you complaining to me? I speak English, I’m obviously here to help you, yet you still want to bitch. Why were you outsourced? Well, because CEO Big Brother is a piece of shit. Happy?
Winston: “I do apologize ma’am, but I would be happy to help you, may I have your name please?”
Customer: “Manjula Nahala”
Wait, what the fuck did you just say? Are you trying to tell me you’re not an angry redneck that loves Busch Light and hates shirts with sleeves? No, in fact, I can tell that you smell like curry, love cricket, and can’t speak English for shit.
So Manjula, you’re pissed off because your Indian self is being outsourced to India? That’s like a dog being pissed off for having a tail. That’s like Justin Beiber being pissed off for being terrible. That’s like a UPS driver being pissed off for having to wear brown. That’s like me being pissed off this call ended up my way and wasn’t outsourced to India. Here’s two rupees Manjula, now please hang up the phone because I can’t understand a fucking thing you’re saying.